#id even argue the ana break up was for her

[eddiediazdefensesquad]

one thing I personally love with Eddie's current storyline is how much it ties back to his closed off nature about his traumas/the shooting/etc. eddie has always had hyperindependent tendencies in my opinion - he thinks he has to do things alone. he is constantly trying to look like he is put together enough to function (ie all of season 8 so far). I'd argue the only times we truly see him ask for help (as opposed to someone offering/jumping in) is when it comes to Christopher (ie, most of the season 7 parenting moments we have with Chris and buck)

But when it's his own personal things, it's really hard for eddie being able to open enough to ask for what he needs. buck is there for his ptsd breakdown only because Christopher called for help, but almost every other big moment when eddie verbalizes what is going on in his head is almost yanked out of him against his will? when he tells Bobby he is mad at shannon for wanting a divorce, when he has to admit his panic attacks because buck won't give up, the list goes on.

eddie didn't grow up in an environment where he was allowed to be anything but okay. his entire life, he had to make his own plans on how to pick himself up. his deployment and marriage with shannon are interesting because he falls right into these roles. oh shannon is pregnant with their son? eddie immediately marries her and then jumps to a career that will provide for their family. a career with premiere health issurance and proper death benefits if something happens to him. his father was never there for his mother, and eddie fell into the same situation - going as far away as possible to provide because that was his job as the 'man of the house'. I don't even think he truly considers how much he is repeating the cycle and neglecting shannon emotionally until she leaves.

throughout the series, we see him do better and better with this, but there are still lots of things that never come to reckoning. I find it very interesting that when he has panic attacks, buck is like well you did just get shot recently, but Eddie is adamant that is not the reason. he knew he was stuck in a corner because he either had to admit the truth about his lack feelings for ana or come to terms that buck would want to talk about the trauma of the shooting.

we see this again in season 6 when buck is struck by lightning and the implications of his 'death' stick with him for a while after. buck asks eddie what he remembered from the shooting, and Eddie clearly diverts eye contact and gives the most vague answer. again, he is reverting back to being there for buck and being what buck needs, but in his mind, the only way to do that is to be small and take up as little space as possible. and at that point, he doesn't want to bring up the trauma of the shooting or how weak his emotions made him feel.

and again and again, we see that differ when it comes to chris. eddie could never see chris as a burden. eddie is holding strong to not be a burden, but he would never think of Christopher that way. ever. eddie loves being needed honestly, and one of their major fights is eddie and chris working through chris needing him *less* (chris wanting to go to the park with his friends). I'd argue he loves being needed by buck almost as much as he loves being needed by chris. he would do anything to take care of his people's needs, but he doesn't even give a second thought to neglecting his own. the biggest example of this, i think, was dispatch eddie. he barely gave it any thought before he transferred. being a firefighter was part of his identity, something so vital to helping him feel his own worth, but he was willing to give that up immediately when chris expressed his fears.

with Chris not actually in his care anymore, this is the first time eddie has to ever put his own needs first. and one of those needs *is* his son. right now, eddie feels like this is the best option for chris because this is what chris wants, but fighting for his son is going to be eddie fighting for his own needs.

it'll be one of the first times we will ever see him put himself first purposely.

and I think once we open that well up to where eddie feels more confident in his worth as a whole person, he will finally be able to express things he always felt were 'too much'. (ie, the shooting, all the other traumas of his life). eddie has never had a moment where he hasn't felt the weight of the world on top of him with all the things he is responsible for, so it will be so beautiful to see him recognize that he deserves true care for himself (and not just chris!!) too.

that is what I'm most excited about his arc. yes, I'd love to see a reckoning on his sexuality for sure, but the acknowledgement that eddie understands his worth and that he is not a burden - that people help him because they *love* him. that's so personal to me 😭

[segadores-y-soldados]

The Immortal Soldier?

Or “Is Jack Morrison semi-‘Reaperized’?”

Disclaimer: I don’t fully believe this idea myself.  However, I’m writing it down because it’s haunting me (ba-dum-tssh), and because I think it’s worth putting out in the open.  A lot of it relies on other hypothesis - which may or may not be true - and thinly-connected context clues, so again, I don’t know if this idea even really has solid ground to stand on? But anyways. TL, DR: post-fall Jack Morrison is basically “Retribution era” Gabriel Reyes, possibly with wraithy powers and all.  However, he may not realize he has those powers, or he may be missing a “step” in that “unlocks” them (e.g. Moira’s involvement).  Different types of circumstantial evidence can be interpreted as pointing towards Jack being very “hard to kill.”

This idea relies on the concepts I put forth in the first half of “Long Reasons Not to Trust Moira in Retribution.”  A quick recap:

1. Hypothesis/semi-confirmed?: Gabriel Reyes gained some sort of “Reaper” powers and his “Reaper” medical condition from SEP.

The basis for this is drawn from a few things.  The first - his “Soldier ID: 24″ folder is found in Moira’s present-day Genetics lab in Oasis.  The second - no one in “Retribution” (aka McCree, Genji, and Moira) are surprised by Gabriel’s “in game” powers (Wraith, Shadow Step, Death Blossom), and the trailer for the event shows Gabriel using Death Blossom freely.

The third - Reaper’s “Soldier: 24″ skin has no change in abilities (i.e. none of the effects or voicelines are altered (see things like Witch Mercy, Cultist Zen, Dragon Sym, etc)) and appears to represent Gabriel during his “experimental state” in SEP.

The fourth - the wording on Reaper’s hero profile is “intentional,” specifically the parts about Reaper being around for “decades.”

(More under the cut)

However, as I argued in “Long Reasons,” this did not necessarily mean that Gabriel was “healthy” or even immortal.

2. Hypothesis: though Gabriel Reyes had some level of “Reaper” powers/condition from SEP, he was not completely immune to being hurt or getting scars.  However, Gabriel might not have been aging correctly either.

This is taken from the idea that Gabriel’s appearance has small changes over the course of thirty years but that it does not change nearly as intensely as his similiarly-aged friends.

Gabriel does accumulate scars, and possibly some wrinkles.  However, unlike Ana, who is only two years older than him and gains wrinkles and grey-to-white hair, Gabriel appears to age relatively less significantly.

This is semi-confirmed by an interaction in “Retribution” between Gabriel and McCree:

McCree: Did you even consider what was gonna happen before you pulled the trigger?

Reyes: I made a decision - I’ll deal with the consequences.

McCree: What, like gettin’ the four of us killed?

Reyes: That’s not going to happen.

McCree believes that Gabriel can die during the events of “Retribution.”  And Gabriel probably can die.

“Hard to kill” =/= “immortal”

Gabriel’s pre-fall “Reaper powers/condition” make him “hard to kill”, but he can still be wounded, still accumulate scars, and still probably die.

This appears to be in direct contrast with:

3. Hypothesis: Post-Fall “Reaper” has become effectively immortal.

Reaper can still feel pain.  We know this.  He appears to even struggle with healing injuries sometimes.

(Personally, I think he’s faking this scene in “Infiltration,” because he wants to create a opportunity for Sombra to blackmail Katya.  But for the sake of discussion, let’s say he’s possibly genuinely in pain here.)

However, Reaper is able to take the full force of the Tesla Cannon without dying.  He 1v1s a new Volskaya mech in “Infiltration” without serious side effects.

In “Old Soldiers,” the sleep dart doesn’t affect Reaper at all, and while the sleep dart isn’t lethal, it does indicate - along with the events of “Recall” and “Infiltration” - that “Reaper” might now be much more immune to damage than he was pre-Fall.

One of Reaper’s respawn lines in the game says:

This is my curse...

Which seems to imply that his curse is being unable to die.

This goes along with the idea that Reaper in the present-day is working with Moira for a “cure” for his condition.

And that this may be the basis for their current working relatioship - Moira gets to continue her research on Gabriel, and Gabriel “eventually” gets a cure from it.

This is related to:

4. Hypothesis/semi-confirmed: before the fall, Gabriel recruited Moira specifically to help him try to solve his “pre-fall Reaper condition” before it got “worse” (and uh, we know that didn’t happen).

“She was recruited by Gabriel Reyes to be a member of Blackwatch.  And uh, during that time she had relationships with the Blackwatch crew - McCree, Genji - they all have their own sort of likes and dislikes for each other.  Reyes wanted someone could help advise him on, uh, some matters of genetics that he was, uh, interested in, shall we say.” - Michael Chu, 3:47 (https://youtu.be/HsJU3PEk9JY?t=227)

Moira is already conducting research on Gabriel at the time of “Retribution.”  This is indicated by her Biotic Grasp and Fade - which were “created” by Moira when she repurposed parts of Gabriel’s biodata for her own artificial means.  Moira has a couple of interactions in “Retribution” which imply that she thinks certain “changes” may be occurring in Gabriel (though he himself does not reveal if these “changes” are actually happening, or if he is aware of them happening at the time).

However, what appears to be implied by the timeline of Overwatch is that Gabriel’s medical transformation into “post-fall Reaper” (not his actual persona or motivations, but his physical state of being) needed more than just Moira’s experiments to “unlock”:

It needed something much bigger to induce the full “Reaper” potential in him.

Reaper, upon respawning:  That which doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.

Different types of stressors and trauma may activate or deactivate the phenotypical expression of genes - this occurs in real life, and, since Blizzard is using stuff like “enhancements”, “nanobiology”, and “hard light technology” as “firm science fiction” elements to explain more “magical” plot devices (e.g. immortality, resurrection, teleporters, talking gorillas, etc), it’s possible that they’re using this concept (albeit very loosely) to explain Gabriel’s final medical transformation into “Reaper”.

This aligns with Reaper’s own explanation for what happened to him (although I’m leaning more and more towards this moment as being a “mixed truth” than a genuine explanation from him):

Setting aside the debate on if Reaper actually blames Soldier: 76 or not, he tells Ana that his “suffering” transformed him into “this thing”.  We know that Gabriel is “the same” from “Retribution” to “Uprising,” leaving only one (known) major event that he could be referencing here: the explosion of the Swiss Base, which he and Jack were caught in.

We don’t know the “exact ratio” of “SEP experimenting” to “Moira experimenting” to “explosion” that creates the “perfect mixture” to result in post-fall Reaper, so yes, one of these things could be more “impactful” on his condition than the others.  But the explosion having a significant impact on transforming him from “hard to kill” to “effectively immortal” aligns with a lot of the pieces that we already know or have clues about.

Now -

The reason I bring this all up -

Is because Jack Morrison has become very similar to pre-fall Gabriel Reyes in personality.

Soldier: 76: I don’t play by the rules anymore.

Soldier: 76:  You ain't seen me angry.

Soldier: 76:  I didn't start this war... But I'm damn well gonna finish it.

Also stuff like: 

Moira: You did what needed to be done, Gabriel.  Don’t apologize. Gabriel: I never have, and I don’t intend to start now.  Someone has to be the one to get things done.

Soldier: 76:  I'm just doing my job. Soldier: 76:  Save the medals, I've had my fill. Soldier: 76, killing an enemy Reaper:  Someone had to do it.

---

McCree: Is this what we’ve become, Gabriel? Gabriel: Blackwatch has always had one purpose: to do the real work of keeping the world safe.  I thought you had the stomach for it.  Looks like I was wrong.

Soldier: 76: Think you can do my job, do you... Winston: Someone has to.

Winston: Someone's going to put a stop to your illegal activities. Soldier: 76: You're one to talk! You and your friends are breaking the law, same as me.

Soldier: 76, killing an enemy Winston: Your hesitation is your weakness.

But Soldier: 76 also has a number of...interesting lines.

Lines that I initially thought were just “flavor text” - you know, stuff that gives us an indication of his personality, his motivations, his ideas, etc.

But can also be interpreted...differently.

Ana: Seems like neither of us like being dead very much. Soldier: 76: Old soldiers are hard to kill.

Soldier: 76: Old soldiers never die... And they don't fade away... 

Soldier: 76: Aren't you supposed to be dead? Reaper: Didn't take.

Soldier: 76: One of these days someone is gonna to put an end to you. Reaper: I invite them to try.

(The last one is interesting because Reaper appears to imply that “trying to end him” is effectively impossible.)

Because, I mean...read another way -

It sounds a lot like Soldier: 76 is talking about himself, either directly, as in the interaction with Ana, or more indirectly, as in the interactions with Reaper.

Again.  I get it.  Like I said, I don’t fully believe this myself.

But let me try and walk through some of the steps here:

1. Pre-explosion Jack Morrison ages “normally.”

Or at least, he ages about the same as Reinhardt, Ana, and Torbjörn.

“Golden Era” Jack Morrison

“Retribution” Jack

“Uprising” Jack

His hair is fading from blonde to white, he’s accumulating wrinkles, etc.  He is, however, missing two major “features” on his face that define him as “post-Fall Soldier: 76″:

His scars.

However -

Gabriel’s “pre-fall Reaper” condition never prevented him from gaining scars.

And though it is “flavor text”, Soldier: 76 has a voiceline for his Daredevil and Stunt Rider skins that says:

Bones heal, pain is temporary; scars look good.

Which is a modified version of a quote from Evel Knievel.

2. Post-explosion Jack might not be aging correctly.

Ana: For a man of your years, you're looking pretty good, Jack. Soldier: 76: Well, all that stuff they pumped into me has to be good for something.

Prior to “Retribution,” I took this interaction to be - well - just a cute little discussion between Ana and Soldier: 76, but when it was revealed that Jack was the youngest member of the original Strike Team, this interaction...made me pause.

Why would Ana say that to someone who is likely 5-10 years younger than her?

At the time of Recall, Jack Morrison could be between the ages of 48 to 55-56-ish.  We know he is younger than Gabriel when he enlists in the U.S. military and joins SEP, which automatically makes him younger than Ana and Reinhardt.  He is likely younger than Torbjörn (as Torb is only one year younger than Gabriel), which makes him the youngest member of the original team.

And look, I love Jack and think he’s a great character and attractive for having gone through a lifetime of war and fighting.

But let’s not kid ourselves.

If this man is 48, that’s a hard 48.

If he’s in his early-to-mid-50′s, sure, that might be more...understandable.  But even then, you have characters like Reinhardt (who Ana also compliments), Mercy, Moira, Doomfist, Hanzo - all of whom are aging “gracefully” (if you want to call it that) for being in their late 30′s to late 40′s (or Reinhardt in his 60′s).

I mean, if Jack is 48, that means he’s the same age as her:

And Moira has very few of the changes Jack has.

(Please, I’m not looking for a discussion on character designs here.  If you want that conversation, there’s plenty of other posts or people to discuss with.) “But Jack lived a stressful life!  And he survived an explosion!  Of course he’s aged more heavily - that takes a toll.”

Which is -

Different types of stressors and trauma may activate or deactivate the phenotypical expression of genes

Precisely my point.

I’ve seen a lot of people make the hypothesis that Jack Morrison may have had a different type of supersoldier “enhancement” injection serum than Gabriel Reyes.  And that’s logically a very good argument - after all, Jack never shows signs of being “wraithy”.  He doesn’t teleport, he gets hurt, he doesn’t have any sort of “lifedrain” ability, etc.

But we also don’t know if any of that - the serum, the “non-wraithy” stuff - is true or not.

Because when Ana remarks about his age and appearance, Jack credits the injections for “being good” for that.

And when Ana herself comments that Jack is “so hardheaded that [he] wouldn’t know how to die” and that Jack is “lucky to be alive”, Jack himself comments with:

(Ostensibly, he’s quoting Gabriel here, who was once Jack’s “old boss”)

Again, it appears that Jack is merely copying Gabriel’s pre-fall personality, or “evolving” into being a renegade and rogue-like character, just like Gabriel was during “Retribution.”

But it is intriguing that Jack credits the SEP injections with his...current “hard-to-kill-ness” and his seemingly “good” appearance.

3. Jack survives a lot of stuff.

Canonically, Jack survives: 1) the Swiss Base explosion, 2) fighting the Helix guards at Watchpoint: Grand Mesa, 3) fighting Los Muertos members in “Hero,” 4) a grenade thrown by a Los Muertos member in “Hero”, 5) a literal shotgun blast to his lower back (?), and then 6) a fistfight with Reaper.

Yes, he gets hurt.

But “hard to kill” =/= “immortal”.

Soldier: 76: Old soldiers are hard to kill.

“Ana heals him in ‘Old Soldiers,’ though!”

You’re right, she absolutely does.  And based on gameplay, Soldier heals himself by his Biotic Fields.

But we also see him literally “walk off” a grenade blast in “Hero.”  And he appears to survive the Swiss Base explosion with only scars. 

And while he never appears to use “wraithy” powers like pre-fall Gabriel, it might be that Jack isn’t fully aware of what’s happening to him.

Gabriel has had “decades” to explore his “Reaper condition.”  He may have even had help “training” his abilities in SEP.  Jack, on the other hand, probably went through the program thinking he was just “another supersoldier” and not a...ghost soldier...fighter...warrior person like Gabriel (or whatever SEP wanted to describe them as - “ravagers”, maybe?).

After all, Jack’s own description of SEP is very brief in “Uprising.”  Initially, he seems to indicate that the program “tried everything” in a desperate bid to end the war - including likely conducting experiments like the kind that produced pre-fall “Reaper” - but that other things (“politics, mismanagement, egos”) seemed to be the downfall of SEP and other U.S. military endeavours, thus pushing Gabriel and Jack to agree to join Overwatch together.

And in “Retribution”, we know that Gabriel appears to think that Jack can die.

Hence Gabriel’s whole motivation for trying to “get a jump start” on Talon by getting intel from Antonio.

Gabriel believed that an explosion could severely hurt Jack -

Or do worse to him.

And yet -

Not only does that not actually happen, Jack appears...almost... stronger than before, emerging “from the ashes” six years later as “Soldier: 76″, equipped with the Tactical Visor and a new, updated version of the Heavy Pulse Rifle.

4. In “another life,” Jack is “immortal.”

“Junkenstein’s Revenge” occupies a very...odd space in the Overwatch universe.  It is, arguably, the only “canon AU” made by the developers themselves.  By that I mean - not only is the “story itself” canon to the world of Overwatch, as a story that Reinhardt is literally telling his friends during one Halloween:

But the events that occur within the story have obvious and clear parallels to the “canon world of Overwatch.”

Each of the main characters - both the “heroes” and the “villains” in both years - correspond to “real characters” in Overwatch.  Moreover, all the “roles” that they play in the story have “canon costumes”/skins (with only Reinhardt and Genji currently missing theirs).

For example:

Mercy, who is dressed as a witch at the Halloween party, is the witch in the story:

Torbjörn is a Viking, Ana is a “pirate alchemist,” McCree is a vampire/demon hunter (Van Helsing, to be exact), Junkrat is the scientist, Roadhog is the monster, etc etc.

The story gets expanded in Year 2, where Widowmaker, Zenyatta, Genji, and Torbjörn all become playable, and it “canonizes” the Huntress and Cultist skins for Widowmaker and Zenyatta as being their “in-story roles”.  Genji, who we don’t see up-close, will likely get a “demon wanderer” skin to match Hanzo’s in a future event.

But there is a character who doesn’t match his “canon costume” with his “Junkenstein role”:

And before people are like, “That’s just his Daredevil skin!” - I know.  I’m aware of that.

However, I also know that they seriously considered making “Old Jack in his Daredevil outfit” a real thing for him:

Of those seven pieces of concept art (I’m counting both Reins as one), five of those eventually became fully-fledged skins.  Reinhardt’s will likely show up in a future event.

However, they got to the point where they actually made a mock-up of “Old Jack in his Daredevil costume.”

And yet.

They chose this.

Yes, I do believe the Immortal skin is an homage to Michael Jackson’s Thriller.  After all, “Junkenstein’s Revenge” as a whole references a number of horror stories or Halloween ideas - everything from the Headless Horseman to Van Helsing to “Frankenstein” itself.

But if the Soldier skin is a reference to Michael Jackson’s Thriller, why call it “Immortal?”  Why not call it “Zombie” or “Ghoul” or something?

As I said earlier, “Junkenstein’s Revenge” has a lot of parallels to the canon world of Overwatch, and the story around each of the “roles” has connections to their “canon versions”.

For example:

Ana: What reason brings you to travel so far from home? Hanzo: I was banished from my home for taking my brother's life. I can never return.

Ana: I once met a man who could summon a dragon as you do. Hanzo: Impossible. Only my clan possesses the skill. My brother could, but he is dead.

McCree: What's home like for you, Archer? Hanzo: A village, high atop a hill. There are cherry blossoms in the spring. I miss it dearly.

Soldier: 76: A soldier, an alchemist, an archer and an oddity. A motley group we have assembled here. Ana: Just as it has always been. You attract strange companions. 

Hanzo: I sense that you and the Soldier have history together. Ana: Indeed. And much of it unhappy.  Or Ana: This is not our first battle together. And not the last. Unless he does something foolish.

Interestingly, many characters often break the fourth wall (or at least attempt to hit it):

Reinhardt, if some of the heroes start dying:  The heroes' defense was not enough, as one of their numbers fell. If only they had a shield to stand behind. Reinhardt: Oh, how the heroes lamented their need for a shield, realizing too late they had taken for granted its protection.

McCree: You're not bad with a bow, but don't you think it's a little old fashioned? Hanzo: Perhaps there is still a future for anachronisms.

McCree: You seem awful familiar. You sure we haven't met before? Soldier: Maybe in another life.

While all the characters have lines and interactions pointing to their “canon versions”, Soldier in particular has many - almost all of his interactions refer to his “canon story” or refer to his “canon relationships.”

Soldier: It's time to finish this fight, old friend. Ana: Let us hope we have the strength to see it through

Ana: If we survive the night, this should be our last battle. Soldier: No, I cannot rest until we have justice! (for what...or for whom?)

Hanzo: What sort of monster do you think the Reaper is? Soldier: The worst kind there is - a wicked man. McCree: So, where are you from? Soldier: I don't stay in one place for too long, came from a town called Bloomington, Indiana

Soldier: In my younger days I'd have hardly broken a sweat, but those days are over.

Related to that is the subplot that the “Junkenstein version” of the “Reaper” knew Soldier and the Alchemist at one point in time:

Once a man, the Reaper retained no trace of his former self.

Rumor said that the Reaper had betrayed his former comrades, and was thusly cursed. (eliminated by Ana) The Alchemist slew the Reaper, feeling a moment of sadness for the man she had once known. (eliminated by Soldier: 76) The Soldier struck down the Reaper, and hoped that it would be for the last time.

However, Soldier expresses an...interesting sentiment when he kills Reaper in “Junkenstein’s Revenge”:

Soldier, eliminates Reaper: At last, the Reaper's curse is lifted.

From both “the canon story of Overwatch” and “Junkenstein’s Revenge,” we see that Soldier: 76 in “both modes” considers it his duty to both fight the Reaper and free him from his “curse.”  In “both modes,” this means killing him.

I’ve seen a lot of the fan idea that “the Immortal Soldier” is a human thrall or some sort of vampire (based predominantly on Reaper’s second Halloween skin, “Dracula”).  While it isn’t a bad idea (and I enjoy it, personally), that’s not actually “canon” to the story of Junkenstein’s Revenge.

In fact, Soldier’s “story” in Junkenstein’s Revenge is almost identical to his “canon story”:

McCree: You don't seem like someone who'd put his faith in alchemy. Soldier: You have to believe in something. May as well be the thing that keeps you alive. McCree: You ask me, you pump something full of these chemicals, electricity and whatnot, that's not a man - that's a monster. Soldier: Maybe so, or maybe they're not as different as you'd think.

In the “Junkenstein’s Revenge universe”, the Immortal Soldier is alive because he himself has been through some sort of alchemical experiment.  McCree’s lines about “[pumping] something full of these chemicals, electricity, and whatnot” is very similiar to not only this:

Ana: For a man of your years, you're looking pretty good, Jack. Soldier: 76: Well, all that stuff they pumped into me has to be good for something.

But also incredibly similiar to this:

“That’s not a man - that’s a monster.”

And Soldier’s remark?

“Maybe so, or maybe they’re not as different as you’d think.”

In fact, now that Moira is part of the game, I’m super interested in seeing how they evolve the Halloween event for the third year, or if we’ll get some sort of new “canon AU-style” story that incorporates her and Brigitte into the event.  Moira very much fulfills the “canon role” of the “Witch” in the world of Overwatch, moreso than Mercy does, and the fact that Moira canonically hold the power of “Reaper’s cure” over Reaper does imply that certain aspects of the Reaper subplot in “Junkenstein’s Revenge” have parallels to the canon story.  It will be exciting to see how Moira is integrated into future Halloween events.

I’m also very interested to see how characters like the Soldier and Alchemist “evolve” in their roles in relation to Moira.

But that’s for the future.

For now, Soldier in “Junkenstein’s Revenge” is...semi-immortal.  Much like the other heroes - demons, vampires, cultist...monk...robots... - the Immortal Soldier can still die, and he can still get hurt.  But the implication that he doesn’t age correctly, or won’t “die of natural causes” is...telling.

Like I said, I’m not sure how much I actually believe the idea as a whole.  But I do think there are odd bits and pieces that point to it being plausible, or something that could become a plot-point later in Overwatch’s story.  Jack being “hard to kill” has worked out as “convenient plot armor” when the story calls for him to get injured or fight someone, but it could evolve into something more...complex.  Again, the fact that Moira is seemingly in the process of making a “cure” for Gabriel’s “post-fall Reaper condition” could have a lot of impacts on Gabriel’s decision-making, his motivations, and those who are affected by them -

Jack, in particular.

Jack is the only other known character who has gone through the same “Soldier Enhancement Program” as Gabriel.  He’s one of the main characters guiding Gabriel’s motivations at the time of “Retribution.”  He’s the only other known character to have survived the same “Swiss Base explosion” as Gabriel, who became the fully-fledged “Reaper” (e.g. effectively immortal) after that.  The same event left Jack with what appears to be only scars, but otherwise, he continues to fight very well.  Post-fall Jack has a number of personality and motivational comparisons to “Retribution-era” Gabriel, including a desire for enacting “retribution” on those who wronged Overwatch and a seemingly “hard-to-kill” physiology.  And in a “canon AU” story, Jack’s role is that of an “immortal soldier,” who may have some...similarities with the “monsters” in the story that he isn’t totally sharing with his comrades.

We know Jack’s canon goal is to find the conspiracy that brought down Overwatch, and implement retributive justice against them.

But is that his only goal?

We will have to see.

[statetalks]

What Republicans Are Not Supporting Trump

South Carolina Rep Tom Rice

Rices vote for impeachment stunned those familiar with the South Carolina lawmakers record as a staunch Trump defender, especially during his first impeachment. 

I have backed this President through thick and thin for four years. I campaigned for him and voted for him twice, Rice said in a statement Wednesday evening. But, this utter failure is inexcusable.

Rice voted for motions to object to certifying Bidens Electoral College victories in Arizona and Pennsylvania last week, votes that came after security teams cleared the building of rioters and members returned from a secure location. Rice told local media he waited until the last minute to cast those votes because he was extremely disappointed in the president after the riots and that Trump needed to concede the election. He also said last week that he did not support impeaching the president or invoking the 25th Amendment to remove him from office. 

Rice, a member of the Ways and Means Committee, has supported the Trump administrations position 94 percent of the time over the past four years. He represents a solidly Republican district in the Myrtle Beach area that Trump carried by 19 points in November. Rice, who has had little difficulty holding his seat since his first 2012 victory, won his race by 24 points in November. 

Trump Breaks Silence With Cpac Speech

Most notably, these state and local parties launched a barrage of censures or other forms of condemnation not long after a violent pro-Trump mob inspired by the former presidents lie about a stolen election and egged on that day by Trump himself stormed the Capitol intent on disrupting Congress as it formalized President Joe Bidens win. Many of the efforts were aimed at the small number of Republicans who voted in favor of impeachment or conviction after House Democrats moved swiftly to impeach Trump on the charge of “incitement to insurrection.”

In Louisiana, the state GOP censured one of its U.S. senators, Bill Cassidy, moments after he voted to convict Trump. North Carolina’s state GOP passed a similar measure aimed at Sen. Richard Burr just days later.

In Illinois, Larry Smith, chair of the LaSalle County Republican Party and a leader in the effort to censure Rep. Adam Kinzinger after he voted to impeach Trump, told NBC News that local GOP leaders in his state are overwhelmingly still pro-Trump, and that the detractors amount to a splinter group by comparison.

I think they’re stunningly naive or have completely misread the tea leaves, he said of Republicans who believe they can leave Trump behind.

He pointed to comments from Kinzinger in The Atlantic in which the lawmaker expressed hope that the segment of the GOP base ready to move past Trump could grow to 35 or 45 percent by the midterm elections.

Former Secretary Of State Condoleezza Rice

Enough! Donald Trump should not be President, the former Secretary of State said in a post following the surfacing of the 2005 audio. He should withdraw.

Rice did not elaborate on who she would vote for in November, but wrote, As a Republican, I hope to support someone who has the dignity and stature to run for the highest office in the greatest democracy on earth.

Schwarzenegger released a statement on Saturday announcing that he will not be voting for Trump.

For the first time since I became a citizen in 1983, I will not vote for the Republican candidate for President, the Austrian-born actor shared via Twitter. Like many Americans, Ive been conflicted by this election I still havent made up my mind about how exactly I will vote next month.

Former Gop Presidential Candidate Carly Fiorina

Fiorina said in June she would be voting for Biden instead of Trump in November.

“Ive been very clear that I cant support Donald Trump. And, you know, elections are binary choices,” Fiorina, who voted for Trump in 2016, told The Atlantic. When pressed whether she would vote for Biden, Fiorina replied, “Im not voting for Trump, but its a binary choice. So if faced with a binary choice on a ballot: yes.”

“I think this moment calls upon Joe Biden to be a leader. I am encouraged that Joe Biden is a person of humility and empathy and character. I think hes demonstrated that through his life,” she said.  

Academics Journalists Authors Commentators

Reuel Marc Gerecht, writer

Michael Gerson, columnist and speechwriter for George W. Bush

Peter Mansoor, military historian

Meghan McCain, commentator, daughter of Senator John McCain

Charles Murray, political scientist and commentator

Ana Navarro, strategist and commentator

Tom Nichols, national security affairs scholar

Marc Andreessen, co-founder of Netscape; founder of Andreessen Horowitz

Mike Fernandez, founder of MBF Healthcare Partners

James Murren, Chairman and CEO of MGM Resorts International

William Oberndorf, Chairman of Oberndorf Enterprises

Republican Voters Not Sure If They Want Trump To Run Again

WEST DES MOINES, Iowa Republicans in this Midwestern battleground fiercely miss having Donald Trump in the White House, but, when asked if they want the former president to seek reelection a second time, in 2024, hesitation abounds.

Thats a good question, said Jose Laracuent, 59, who lives in suburban Des Moines. He set the bar in many ways, and I think theres other politicians who can build on what hes already built. Laracuents wife, Shelley, was more decisive. Id like to see another generation. Both spoke with the Washington Examiner while attending the annual Lincoln Dinner fundraising gala for the Iowa Republican Party, headlined by potential 2024 contender Nikki Haley, a former United Nations ambassador.

Publicly, Trump is undecided on a third presidential bid, although he regularly alludes to another campaign. Privately, the former president is telling confidants he plans to run, and this month began hitting the road again for his signature rallies and pre-rally festivals. Trump remains extraordinarily popular with grassroots Republicans. Yet, there are signs even these loyal voters might want fresh leadership in 2024, with Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis topping Trump in a recent straw poll.

If he runs, Graber added, I think hell be tough to beat in Iowa.

Washington Examiner Videos

List Of Republicans Who Opposed The Donald Trump 2020 Presidential Campaign

This article is part of a series about

This is a list of Republicans and conservatives who opposed the re-election of incumbent Donald Trump, the 2020 Republican Party nominee for President of the United States. Among them are former Republicans who left the party in 2016 or later due to their opposition to Trump, those who held office as a Republican, Republicans who endorsed a different candidate, and Republican presidential primary election candidates that announced opposition to Trump as the presumptive nominee. Over 70 former senior Republican national security officials and 61 additional senior officials have also signed onto a statement declaring, “We are profoundly concerned about our nation’s security and standing in the world under the leadership of Donald Trump. The President has demonstrated that he is dangerously unfit to serve another term.”

A group of former senior U.S. government officials and conservativesincluding from the Reagan, Bush 41, Bush 43, and Trump administrations have formed The Republican Political Alliance for Integrity and Reform to, “focus on a return to principles-based governing in the post-Trump era.”

A third group of Republicans, Republican Voters Against Trump was launched in May 2020 has collected over 500 testimonials opposing Donald Trump.

One Voted Last Week Against Certifying Electoral College Results

Ten Republicans voted Wednesday to impeach President Donald Trump, exactly one week after a violent attack on the Capitol by the presidents supporters. 

The Democrat-led House voted 232-197 to approve one article of impeachment against Trump, charging the president with incitement of insurrection. 

The GOP lawmakers who voted to impeach the president from their own party included Wyoming Rep. Liz Cheney, the third-highest-ranking Republican in the House. Cheneys vote has prompted House Republicans to call on her to step down as conference chairwoman.

While many in the group have a history of breaking with their party, the yes votes included several with a strong record of supporting Trump and one, South Carolina Rep. Tom Rice, who voted last week against certifying President-elect Joe Bidens Electoral College victory in two states. 

Most Republicans in the House opposed impeachment, with many arguing the hurried process would further divide the country. But for these 10 Republicans who supported impeachment, the fact that Trump incited the riot at the Capitol was indisputable. 

Four Republicans did not vote on impeachment, including Texas Rep. Kay Granger, who recently tested positive for COVID-19. The others were Reps. Andy Harris of Maryland, Greg Murphy of North Carolina and Daniel Webster of Florida.

Here are the 10 Republicans who voted to impeach Trump: 

Loyalty To Trump Vs Trumpism

The battle for Trumps endorsement in the Ohio race to replace GOP Sen. Rob Portman, meanwhile, asks whether personal loyalty to Trump or a record of support for his nationalist policies matters more to both the president himself and to voters. 

J.D. Vance, the venture capitalist-turned-author of Hillbilly Elegy, is considered all-but-certain to announce a run for the GOP nomination. But he is already on the receiving end of an anonymous text-message campaign informing Republican voters in Ohio about Vances numerous disparaging comments about Trump during the 2016 race, including a time he called Trump an idiot.

During the 2016 race, Vance also said he couldnt stomach Trump, that Trump was unfit for the presidency, and that his policy proposals ranged from immoral to absurd.

An ally of Vances noted to HuffPost, however, that many Republicans did not support Trump in 2016. The Vance confidante, who asked for anonymity for professional reasons, said that Vances support for reshoring American manufacturing, tougher immigration enforcement and cracking down on the power of Big Tech show his commitment to Trumps ideas.

When Timken sought Trumps endorsement for her Senate bid, however, Trump reportedly backed off plans to endorse her after close advisers urged him to wait longer before settling on a favored candidate.

A few days later, Timken resigned as party chair ahead of her Senate run. And a few weeks later, as a Senate candidate, she for Gonzalez to resign.

Republican Officials Calling For Trumps Removal

Below are the few Republicans currently in office who have so far demanded Trumps resignation or removal from office.

Pennsylvania Sen. Pat Toomey

Toomey, a Pennsylvania Republican whos retiring in 2022, became the second GOP senator to say Trump should step down. The best way for our country is for the president to resign and go away as soon as possible, he told Meet the Press on Sunday.

Toomey also said in an interview with Fox News this weekend that he believed the president had committed impeachable offenses, though he hesitated on whether impeachment proceedings and removing him from office was the best course. I dont know whats going to land on the Senate floor, if anything, he said.

Sen. Pat Toomey : I do think the president committed impeachable offenses. But I don’t know what is gonna land on the Senate floor, if anything.

The Recount January 9, 2021

Alaska Sen. Lisa Murkowski

Alaska senator Lisa Murkowski became the first Republican senator to demand that Trump leave office. She did not mention impeachment or other methods of removal, but she was unequivocal in her censure of the president.

I want him to resign. I want him out. He has caused enough damage, Murkowski told the Anchorage Daily News in a Friday interview.

Vermont Gov. Phil Scott

Vermonts Republican governor, who was just sworn in for his third term, was among the first prominent Republicans to demand Trump resign or be removed from office by his Cabinet, or by Congress.

Republicans Voting For Mrs Clinton

Richard Armitage, former deputy secretary of state

Ex-President George HW Bush

Richard Hanna, New York congressman

Hank Paulson, former treasury secretary

Brent Scowcroft, former national security adviser

Chris Shays, former Connecticut congressman

Meg Whitman, prominent Republican donor; CEO of Hewlett Packard

William Bennett, former secretary of education

Former Ohio Gov John Kasich

Kasich, who ran against Trump in the 2016 Republican primaries, headlined the opening night at the DNC.

More:Michelle Obama goes ‘high’, GOP’s John Kasich blasts Trump and other top moments from the DNC’s opening night

Kasich has long been critical of Trump and started his remarks by standing at the intersection of two gravel roads, noting the country was at a crossroads. 

“Sometimes elections represent a real choice, the choice we make as individuals and as a nation about which path we want to take when we’ve come to challenging times,” he said. “America is at that crossroads today.”

He noted that he was a proud Republican and has disagreements with some of Biden’s policies, but those differences were part of the fabric of America’s political system. 

More:John Kasich’s DNC speech was filmed at a crossroads near his Ohio home

Miles Taylor Former Senior Trump Administration Official

Taylor  is one of the highest-ranking former officials from the Trump administration to back Biden.

Taylor, who served as chief of staff to former Homeland Security Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen  until he left in 2019, was featured in a video produced by the Republican Voters Against Trump, saying what he saw from Trump “was terrifying.” 

More:Former senior Trump administration official endorses Joe Biden

In the video, Taylor stated, “Given what I have experienced in the administration, I have to support Joe Biden for president. And even though I am not a Democrat, even though I disagree on key issues, I’m confident that Joe Biden will protect the country and I’m confident that he won’t make the same mistakes as this President.”

The Latest Sign Of Donald Trump’s Hold On The Gop

Analysis by Lauren Dezenski, CNN

A vast majority of Republicans are still all in on former President Donald Trump — and a new CBS/YouGov poll reveals just how deep the obsession within the party goes.

89% want a Trumpian take on economic issues.

88% want to follow Trump’s example on immigration issues.

77% prefer Trump’s model for how to treat the media. 

The Point: Bad news for those searching for signs of a non-Trump path within the Republican Party. Right now, the vast majority of GOP members are still very big on the former President — and not much else.

Former Secretary Of State Colin Powell

Powell, former secretary of state to President W. Bush spoke at the second night of the DNC, saying Biden “will be a president we will all be proud to salute.”

“With Joe Biden in the White House, you will never doubt that he will stand with our friends and stand up to our adversaries never the other way around,” Powell said. “He will trust our diplomats and our intelligence community, not the flattery of dictators and despots.”

Powell has been an outspoken critic of Trump, calling him “dangerous for our democracy” in June.

Other Republicans Who Will Not Vote For Him

Robert Bentley, Alabama governor

Jeb Bush, former Florida governor and candidate for the 2016 nomination

William Cohen, former secretary of defence

Dennis Daugaard, South Dakota governor

Carly Fiorina, former candidate for the 2016 nomination

Darryl Glenn, from Colorado, running for the Senate

Kim Guadagno, lieutenant governor of New Jersey

Michael Hayden, former CIA director, former NSA director

Gary Herbert, Utah governor

Jon Huntsman, former Utah governor

John Kasich, Ohio governor, 2016 presidential candidate

Susana Martinez, New Mexico governor

George E Pataki, former New York governor

Tim Pawlenty, former Minnesota governor

Condoleezza Rice, former secretary of state

Tom Ridge, former Pennsylvania governor; former Homeland Security secretary

Mitt Romney, former Massachusetts governor, 2012 presidential nominee

Brian Sandoval, Nevada governor

Arnold Schwarzenegger, former California governor

Ignore The Hype Of Republicans Threatening To Break Away Over Trump

Anti-Trump Republicans get lots of media attention. That doesnt mean they are relevant within the Republican party

Over 100 Republicans, including former officials, threaten to split from the Republican party, the New York Times declared on Tuesday. The next day the Washington Post upped the ante, headlining that the 100 Republicans were vowing civil war; the columnist Jennifer Rubin proclaimed the beginning of the stampede away from the GOP.

Sounds exciting, but what has really happened?

On Thursday, a group of some 150 former Republicans published A Call for American Renewal, a manifesto with the stated aim of building a common sense coalition for America. The call itself reads mostly like the US constitution but with a distinct anti-Trump undertone. While the former president is never named, the manifesto warns against forces of conspiracy, division, and despotism, opposes the employment of fear-mongering, conspiracism, and falsehoods, and rejects populism and illiberalism. It emphasizes the importance of the constitutional order, rule of law, and pluralism, while implicitly supporting immigration and explicitly celebrating our diverse nation. So far, so good; but is this anodyne statement worth all the hype?

Active office-holders, with power and relevance, are conspicuously absent from the signatories

This is the Republican party of an imagined past, harkening to a moderate, noble era that never really existed

Arizona Senator John Mccain

McCain, who ran as the partys presidential candidate in 2008, announced he would not be voting Republican and would write in a candidate through a statement on Saturday.

I have wanted to support the candidate our party nominated, he said in a statement. He was not my choice, but as a past nominee, I thought it was important I respect the fact that Donald Trump won a majority of the delegates by the rules our party set. I thought I owed his supporters that deference.

But Donald Trumps behavior this week, concluding with the disclosure of his demeaning comments about women and his boasts about sexual assaults, make it impossible to continue to offer even conditional support for his candidacy.

McCains daughter, Meghan, previously told PEOPLE she shed tears when Trump clinched the GOP nomination for president at the Republican convention. She also said she would be writing in a candidate and voting for her father.

Republicans Are Overwhelmingly Sticking With Trump Yet Again

Days before his second impeachment trial, Trumps influence over the Republican Party remains as entrenched as ever.

Anna Jacobs is a Doha-based researcher on US politics and foreign policy.

On January 13, Donald Trump became the first president in US history to be impeached twice. Ten Republican members of Congress, including the third-most powerful Republican in the House of Representatives, Congresswoman Liz Cheney of Wyoming, broke rank and voted with the Democrats to charge the president with inciting violence against the government of the United States.

This took place exactly one week after Trump supporters organised a violent insurrection to take over the US Capitol Building and block the certification of Bidens Electoral College win, an effort that was supported politically by Republican members of Congress and senators who voted against certifying the electoral college win.

The FBI is also currently investigating the role that some Republican members of Congress may have played in aiding and abetting the January 6 insurrection, which led to five deaths and multiple injuries.

The final vote tally in favour of impeachment was 232 to 197. Every single Democrat in the chamber voted for impeachment, along with 10 Republicans. 197 Republicans voted against the measure, a testament to the now-former presidents continued popularity within the Republican Party.

New Poll Shows Republican Support For Donald Trump Is Plummeting

Donald Trump wields an enormous amount of power over the Republican party.  The power doesnt stem from his ability as a politician or his oration abilities. The GOP cedes power to Donald Trump because his supporters are incredibly fervent.

The actions of many Republican lawmakers following the November election showed just how scared they were of encountering Trumps wrath. The ice began to thaw, though, when the 45th president lost his ability to use Twitter.

And following the January insurrection, support for Trump among Republicans is plummeting. A recent survey conducted by Echelon Insights showed that Trumps popularity from GOP voters has dropped by 20% since December.

In the survey, 45% of Republicans said they would like to see Trump be the candidate for their party in 2024. Just two months ago, this number stood at 65%.

While 21% of voters wanted Trump to be convicted and impeached, 30% of Republicans want to see him banned from ever holding office again.

And while Trump would certainly like to run for president again in 2024, his path to the Republican nomination might not be so easy.

I Was Doing My Job: Capitol Officer Defends Shooting Ashli Babbitt During Riot

Former President Donald Trump ripped the Senates $1 trillion infrastructure package Saturday as a disgrace, warning that he was prepared to withhold his support for any Republican that was on board with it.

Joe Bidens infrastructure bill will be used against the Republican Party in the upcoming elections in 2022 and 2024. It will be very hard for me to endorse anyone foolish enough to vote in favor of this deal,Trump warned, taking aim at Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell on his negotiating prowess.

If Mitch McConnell was smart, which weve seen no evidence of, he would use the debt ceiling card to negotiate a good infrastructure package, Trump hissed.

Senate Majority leader Chuck Schumer is pushing to pass the package on Saturday, fulfilling one of President Bidens signature campaign promises.

The fiery statement came just hours before the Senate voted to invoke cloture and advance the legislation on Saturday, bringing the bill one step closer towards final passage.

The Minority Leader appears to have brushed aside Trumps rebuke, voting with 17 other Republicans to break a GOP filibuster aimed at blocking the bill.

It is not the end, but it takes us closer to the end, said Sen. Tom Carper after the cloture vote. 

Which Republicans Have Deserted Donald Trump

US election 2016

A tape recording of Donald Trump making disparaging remarks about women has sparked howls of condemnation from Republican colleagues. More than 30 senior politicians have said they can no longer back him.

Here’s a list of some of the leading Republicans who have deserted him since the tapes were revealed.

But it’s not the first time Mr Trump has lost support from colleagues. Republicans have been deserting him for months over various scandals.

So who is on the “Never Trump” list and who’s still on Mr Trump’s side?

Republican Voters Back Trump But Not Lockstep Behind 2024 Bid

Republican voters hold former President Donald Trump in high esteem and tend to agree with his dubious claims about the 2020 election, but those sentiments are not translating into overwhelming support for a third White House bid.

Republican pollsters studying post-election surveys are settling on two seemingly contradictory conclusions they say are compatible. Republican voters prefer Trumps brand of conservative populism, what pollsters are calling Trumpism, over the traditional Republicanism of the preceding era; the former presidents agenda benefited their bottom line. But a growing segment of these same voters, frustrated by the perpetual chaos of the Trump presidency, would prefer a conventional, disciplined politician represent the party in 2024.

His working-class populism has redefined the identity and agenda of the party, said Republican pollster Brock McCleary, who advised Trumps reelection campaign. There is merely a segment of Republicans who like Trump but are open to discussion about who can best defend and advance Trump populism in the years to come.

GEORGIA LIEUTENANT GOVERNOR ANNOUNCES HE WON’T SEEK REELECTION AFTER FIGHTING TRUMP’S REELECTION FRAUD CLAIMS

Both are true, veteran Republican pollster Frank Luntz said, regarding the mindset of this significant cohort of GOP voters.

source https://www.patriotsnet.com/what-republicans-are-not-supporting-trump/

[a-smilethat-explodes]

Chapter 34 Numb

The shock hit me hard and nearly knocked me off my feet. I stared blankly at both officers and stumbled back a few steps, literally reeling with the news. I felt Jake lay a hand on my back. "What?" I heard myself ask faintly. I stumbled back and felt myself crash down on the couch. Or maybe it was Jake's hands on my shoulders that had brought me there.

The silence in the apartment was absolutely deafening. Adam and Ben were still sleeping, obviously… but it was weird, for four people to be completely silent. Finally, I brought myself to blankly say, "But… she's supposed to be in rehab."

"There was a half empty bottle of vodka in the seat next to her and a gun in her hand… she killed herself, I suspect, in an alcohol haze," Officer Kenton answered, sounding matter of fact.

"Did she leave a note?" I asked faintly.

"We haven't found one," he replied. "We should have the autopsy report in a few hours to figure out what was really going on." I nodded slowly, still in shock. "Do you mind if we ask you a few questions?"

"No." I whispered, still staring at the wall.

"You asked if she broke out of rehab again… she's been to rehab before?" he prodded.

I nodded slowly, staring blankly at the wall in front of me. "A few weeks ago… she tried… she thought she was better, she wasn't." I shook my head. "She disowned my sister and skipped town for a while… came back, got into another accident, and was supposedly forced to go to rehab, but now she's…" I couldn't bring myself to say that she was… gone.

"You weren't close?" Officer Windsor questioned quietly.

"No, not at all. Especially since she disowned my sister." I replied, feeling like the words were coming out of my mouth on their own.

"You and your sister are close?" one of them asked.

"Yeah." I replied. "She's a senior in high school; she lives with her best friend."

"And she and your mother were not close either?" I'd stopped looking at them so I had no idea who was talking to me.

"No." I answered flatly. Ana and Mom, close… not even before Mom took off the first time would they ever be considered close. Not even before Ana screwed up with Jesse. Mom had always been just cold with us, rarely affectionate. "Mom tried to tell Ana that she was better after she left rehab. Ana knew better, she knew that it didn't take a few days to get over being an alcoholic, they argued, and Mom left. For good."

"How would… Ana, did you say her name was?" I nodded slowly. "How did Ana know about getting over being an alcoholic?"

"Ana is a recovered one herself. She went to rehab last year herself." I replied, still staring at the wall.

A cell phone rang. I finally started, looking up as Officer Kenton answered his phone, and began talking quietly as Officer Windsor looked at me sympathetically, and said, "We'll need you to come down to the morgue and claim the body."

"Claim the body?" I repeated, still trying to digest all of this.

"Yes, you're the oldest of kin and your mother has no husband," he replied. "Therefore it's now only you and your sister."

I remembered the message I'd left for Ana a few weeks earlier… "I'm the only family you got." Now it was really true, more then ever. Ana. I'd have to tell Ana that Mom was dead. I couldn't even begin to think about how I was going to tell her that.

"We just got the autopsy results." Kenton said after hanging up his phone.

"And?" I asked, folding my arms across my chest.

"Her blood alcohol content was 0.25 and there was cocaine in her blood stream," he told me solemnly. "That's a little more then three times the legal limit."

Cocaine? Mom had been doing drugs?

"Do you think you could come down to the station with us now?" Officer Windsor asked gently.

"Okay I'll do it." I heard myself tell the officers, looking at them but not really focusing on them as I stood. "Let's go."

"I'll drive you, dude." Jake offered. Then no one moved for a few minutes.

"Don't you want to put on some other clothes?" Officer Windsor finally asked politely.

"Dude, you're in your boxers." Jake jumped in.

"Oh right." I started. "I'll be right back." I walked back into my room and then stared around blankly for a moment before sitting down on my bed, holding my face in my hands.

"You coming, dude?" Jake finally prompted me. I pulled my face away and looked up at him blankly. I'd been sitting for five minutes without moving. "Here." Jake handed me my pants and I sighed before pulling them on. "Come on, man," he helped me up and then led me out of the room.

Jake drove and followed the officers down to the hospital. I tried to find some sort of sorrow, some kind of pain, that my mom was gone, but I found nothing, only numbness.

"We're here." Jake prompted me. I hadn't even realized we'd gotten to the hospital. I started and we got out of the car then followed the officers into the hospital.

What kind of 19 year old goes and identifies the body of his mother? We headed down the hall to the morgue.

The morgue was very clean and empty in itself… I guess there wasn't any reason to make a morgue comfortable since anyone who didn't work there was coming to deal with a dead body. The smell was sickening and could only be described as the smell of death. The officers flashed their badges at the front desk and then they had Jake and me fill out a sign-in sheet. "Ellen Chase?" the mortician asked professionally, picking up a folder.

"Yes, I'm her son." I replied.

"Can I see some ID please?" she asked. I handed over my license and she took note then walked me into a room where a body was covered with a sheet. She checked her notes then lifted the sheet. "Is this Ellen Chase?" she asked me again.

"It's her." I said after one glance and then stared at the wall in front of me while the mortician made another note. I wasn't eager to memorize the face of my dead mother, though the one glance I'd taken was imprinted on my brain. I was glad Ana hadn't been present.

"We have some paperwork we want you to fill out," the officer told me. I nodded again, voice lost. "And here are her belongings," they handed me a manila envelope. I nodded blankly.

It was almost noon when we got back to the apartment. Jake unlocked the door and then let me walk in first. "Hey." Adam grunted from the couch where he sat, playing X Box with Ben. "Dude, are you okay?" he asked me, sounding surprised. I didn't look at him as I continued to cross the apartment. "Dude-" I shut the door to my room behind me. "What the hell is going on?" I heard him ask Jake.

I flopped down on my bed and stared at the wall as I heard quiet voices in the other room and then silence. I knew they were all there, I didn't hear the front door open or close. The silence pressed in almost unbearably. I stared blankly at the wall and shut my brain off. I didn't fall asleep, only stared.

When I finally moved again, hours had passed. The apartment was still silent… I sat up in bed and checked my cell phone. 4:16. Ana would be out of school by now. I stood slowly and fought the huge blood rush, blinking furious through the haze. I glanced at the mirror and found my eyes empty, stubble covering my face, and my hair un-brushed. Oh well… Ana would just have to deal with it.

I walked out of my room and found all the guys on the couch. "Hey." Jake said as I crossed behind them. I didn't answer. "Hey, where are you going?" he asked me, sounding surprised. "Erik-!" I shut the door behind me and jogged down the stairs to the parking garage.

Isabella sounded surprised when she let me in at the gate. I parked in the huge circular driveway and climbed out of my car. The door to the 11,000 square foot house flew open and Isabella flew out the door, blond hair flying behind her, dressed in a light blue tank top, and a white skirt. "Hey!" she said, almost smiling before getting a good look at me. "Whoa!" she exclaimed, skidding to a stop. "What's wrong?" she demanded, eyes searching my face.

"Is Ana here?" I asked quietly instead.

"She's out with Andrew," she shook her head in reply. It finally occurred to me that I should've called. It honestly hadn't crossed my mind. Damn... how could I find her now? "What's wrong? You look frazzled," she prodded me quietly.

I looked her in the eyes and said with finality, "Our mom is dead." The words felt foreign on my tongue and I wanted to retract them almost the moment they came out. But I knew they were true.

She gasped instantly and clapped a hand over her mouth. "What?" she whispered, muffled by her hand. I shivered in the cool breeze. "Come inside," she ordered, grabbing me by the arm, and dragging me up the stairs to the house.

"Is there anything I can get you, Miss Isabella?" the maid asked her with a smile.

"Yes, we'll be in the library. When Anastasia and Andrew return, tell them to meet me in there," she replied briskly without breaking her stride. She walked me into the library and then shut the doors behind her. "What happened?" she demanded. "Are you okay?" she clapped a hand over her mouth and looked chagrined. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't ask you so many questions, I'm just so… surprised…"

"Yeah well you and me both." I answered flatly, sinking down onto one of the leather couches in front of the roaring fire in the library. "And it's okay, I know you're surprised. I was too."

"When did you find out?" she asked gently.

"This morning. Cops showed up at 5:45." I replied slowly.

"Do you know how she died?" she asked, taking my hand.

"Gunshot to the head. By herself." I replied grimly. Isabella gasped again. "She had cocaine and three times the legal alcohol level in her blood."

"That's horrible!" she exclaimed.

"Yeah. No note." I replied with a sigh. "I guess she figured we wouldn't care about the note anyway."

Isabella paused and studied me as I stared into the fire. "You… you aren't blaming yourself for this, are you?" she asked slowly.

"No." I replied, looking at her. "I mean, I know she had a lot of problems and she drank a lot and…" I trailed off. "I guess it could be the drugs, I mean, I hardly knew her, but then again…" I trailed off once again. "I mean, I feel nothing."

"You're might be in shock," she suggested. "Oh Erik, I'm so sorry," she threw her arms around me. I couldn't bring myself to respond. "You feel so stiff… are you okay?"

"My mother just died. What do you think?" I demanded harshly. She jerked back as though I had slapped her, and stared at me with wide eyes. "No, Isabella, I'm sorry." I said with a sigh, covering my eyes with my hand.

After a moment, she hugged me again and this time, it felt good.

The door opened behind us. We pulled back to see Ana's eyebrows fly up in surprise at the sight of us. Andrew looked in behind her. "Erik!" she exclaimed in surprise.

Isabella and I both stood. "Hey An." I mumbled, stuffing my hands in my pockets.

"What are you doing here?" she asked as she approached me and then took a closer look. "What's wrong? You look sick!"

"We're going to go get some food." Isabella announced.

"Isabella-" Ana began, beginning to get angry.

"No, we need to talk." I found my voice. "Alone."

Ana eyed me distrustfully as Isabella and Andrew left the room. "What's going on?" she asked, voice deathly quiet.

"I think it would be better if you sat." I replied calmly, trying to calm her down.

"I'll stand," she replied sharply. "What's going on, Erik?"

And that's when the truth hit me. As I stared at my sister, I realized with alarming clarity that our mother was dead. Emotions flooded me… and that's when I felt, for the first time since I was at least ten, tears fill my eyes.

"Erik?" Ana demanded, rushing over, anger gone, undoubtedly because of the sight of my tears. "Erik, what's wrong?" she asked, grabbing my elbows.

I drew a shaky breath and then whispered, "Mom's dead."